Failure

I am probably going to fail another class. I spoke with my professor about taking an incomplete. He said that it would probably be better to withdraw from the college and attempt when I feel better. Going back to the cycle. It never ends.

I can’t help but think that sometimes I use my mental illness as an excuse. But is it really an excuse? I feel like I’m being manipulative. I feel so stupid. I feel so stupid that I let myself get to this point again.

I feel really fucking shitty.I feel hopeless and like I’ll never reach my goals. I feel like there’s so many people exactly like me, too. Bipolar, with big dreams. I haven’t accomplished anything and I’m in debt from my failed attempts. 

Was it ever attainable? Or have I always been kidding myself? Is this growing up? Or growing pains?

I don’t know if I’ll ever pull it together.

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2 thoughts on “Failure

  1. I was diagnosed with Pure OCD and was at rock bottom. But I underwent counselling and with the right medication am largely on top of it now. Just wanted to let you know that there is light at the end of the tunnel – Stephen

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