not applying this year

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I recently told my parents that I will not be applying to the dental hygiene program this year.
I had mentioned it to my mom a few days ago and my reasons were

  1. I have a TERRIBLE gpa right now. it’s terrible from all the times I tried to take a heavy load of difficult college courses even though I was so incredibly unstable.
  2. I am just starting to get better. I feel that if I try to take on too much at once, I will get bad again. I feel that I need to learn how to be “ok” for a little bit and then apply.
  3. I will still be taking classes and will still be working. I am taking classes all the way through summer and due to this, all the extra credits and hopefully good grades will boost my gpa by a lot.
  4. I do not really have anyone I can ask for a referral. I didn’t make strong connections with any professors at this college. The last college I went to was in early 2015 and I doubt that any of my professors then remember enough about me to be able to give an accurate referral.

So those were my reasons.

Last night, I had gotten an application to a particular college that sends the applications over mail. I was able to calculate my entire GPA through it, as I have three different GPA’s from three different colleges I attended. Basically, my gpa right now is 1.93 with all the colleges combined. The MINIMUM you need to be able to get into the DH program is 2.5. I thought that I would make it this term, since I have higher than a 2.00 at the college I’m at. But I forgot that you have to add in all of your transcripts. So I couldn’t even apply if I wanted to because I don’t have the gpa that I need.

I then had to tell both of my parents the news. They were not pleased. They were so incredibly disappointed and upset. I would try to tell them that my gpa didn’t start off well because I tried to do too much when I was clearly unstable.

“here we go again,” they said.

Yes, here we go again. I have absolutely no fucking support in this household. I am grateful that my parents provide for me in ways such as shelter, food, reliable car. But I don’t get any emotional support. Ever. And that weights heavily on me because I don’t feel like I have anyone that I can talk to. My mom often says that if I ever need anything or need someone to talk to, I can go to her. but how am I supposed to WANT to go to her when this is the shit that they pull?

“here we go again with excuses”

like. fuck. give me a fucking break.

 

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