This is probably the worst symptom of bipolar disorder for me I think. The reason being, is that the people I do this with, are people that are initially interested in having a relationship with me. Like, not just a casual relationship. But I will then get weird and say “hey…..I want you to fuck me” and then it escalates because
- I’m a boss bitch who looks good
- I’m a boss bitch who has a way with words
So basically, every person I initiate this with always ends up fucking me like there has never been a time when they were like “nah.”
This is bad because we’ll do our thing and whatever but then I’ll get sad and depressed once they aren’t interested in me romantically anymore. They see me as just someone to have sex with. And it’ll basically be like being in a relationship with me, because I don’t treat it as just sex. I will talk to them every day and I will make an effort to hang out with them often. If it was just casual, I would just contact them when I wanted to have sex. And so I get attached. But they don’t. And they prefer it the way I built it up to be, because they get all the perks of being in a relationship without actually being in a relationship.
Anyways, I started going on dates with someone and they are really nice and they tell me I’m cute all the time. We’ve hung out three times and have gone on cool, interesting dates all those times and last time we saw each other, we kissed. I was starting to really like them.
It’s been almost a week since that date and I decided to fuck it up last night by telling them that I wanted them and that I wanted them to fuck me “l o l.”
So that’s where we are at now. And now this has once again, turned into something different. It sucks because they turn into this different person but I can’t even get upset. Yeah, I have feelings, but I’m the one that flipped this around and turned it into what it is.
I’m too flirtatious and horny for my own good. But anyways, this is an actual picture of myself that I just took: