I’ve been breaking out around my eyes and cheeks because I’ve been crying every day lol.
I miss Molly so much and I’ve been having such a hard time lately.
I realized today that my most recent ex deleted me off of all social media. This was after they had said they wanted to be friends and sent me a “heartfelt” email. I feel that this is karma from when i cut Molly out of my life. I feel stupid.
I’ve talked about how I’ve been seeing someone casually and kind of liked them. I realized today that I am just really lonely. Well I knew that. But I keep seeing people so that I always have someone to talk to and hang out with. So I won’t feel lonely. So I’m not reminded that Molly isn’t here anymore.
But with the guy, I genuinely thought we were having a good time. It was like a relationship without ever being a real relationship. We went out on dates and then some. Idk. But it’s different now. He’s distant now.
It makes me feel like garbage. It makes me feel dispensable. I read an incredibly brutal article about how it really is when someone uses you for sex. It was saying how the person will never have promised anything and never lied to you about anything. But instead, they are doing he bare minimum so that you stay attracted. They keep texting you sporadically so that you stay interested. This is exactly what has been happening. It’s brutally honest.
I guess it’s what I needed. I know I should cut him off. The sex is great and like actually amazing. But is it worth getting my feelings hurt over? I’m just too sensitive for fwb. I wish I could handle it.
Anyways things have been weird lately. I’m super busy and never have time for anything. I like someone that doesn’t even like me back. Im isolating. Im sad. Im depressed.
What else is new?