I haven’t posted something new in a little while but I’ve been extremely depressed.
I mentioned hat I got a b in biology and while I do want to move forward and while i do know that there’s nothing I can do about the grade now, I am still super depressed.
I guess I just came on to say of something that happened. Whenever my mom gets upset with me, she says “well you know what? There’s the door and you’re welcome to move out whenever you want!!”
She knows that I can’t move out. I have no where to go. I am neck deep in debt from school and couldn’t even afford to take it a loan if I wanted to. So she says this out of spite.
I sometimes just brush this off. But because I’ve been so depressed, my mind immediately went to “I’m going to kill myself. I’m going to kill myself and then I’ll move out permanently.”
I guess I just wish I didn’t internalize my feelings so much and then my parents would realize how much harm they are inflicting with their words. But that’s my own fault.