I started eating again but it isn’t regular eating, unfortunately. It’s been binge eating 😦 I wish it wasn’t so hard to just.. Stop? Sometimes I see comments on fb on eating disorder pages where people say JUST EAT!! Or JUST STOP EATING!! EXERCISE MORE!!

What a completely ignorant thing to say. As if life doesn’t get in the way of things for them too. 

I’m not being a baby. This shit is hard. Mental illness makes it harder. 

I went to the dentist the other day. I already sort of knew this, but the enamel on my teeth is super fucked up from having an eating disorder for so long. It is the combination of anorexia, that made me have more acid reflux. It is the bulimia that softened and wore away at my enamel from the vomit. It is the binge eating. 

I actually didn’t know that binge eating was so bad too.. For my teeth I mean. What happens is that every time you eat, you produce these enzymes that help break down the food in your mouth before even swallowing it. Subsequently, constantly eating throughout the day or having big binge sessions tips the pH scale in your mouth and too many of these enzymes that are produced constantly wear your teeth down.

So basically, anything I do fucks my enamel up. I’m super bummed out considering I want to go into dental. I’m like SUPER bummed out. How hypocritical is it for a dentist to have fucked up teeth?

God, what a joke. 

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