Mental illness means loneliness 

My mental illness causes me to have outbursts. It is caused by criticism. 

No one is required to deal with me. No one has to take my shit. And I guess, even though I know that I am sometimes the one in the wrong, it can get very lonely. Having bipolar disorder can get very lonesome.

I got upset with my mom because she criticized me on something, or that’s how I took it. I can never tell if I’m the one being over sensitive or not. I can never tell if my feelings are valid.

Anyway, when I said that I wasn’t mad but I was annoyed, she said she was “fucking sick of it.”

She yelled to me “I am fucking sick of you”

And though I know that it was just something that she said in the moment –something that slipped out –it still hurt very much.

I feel so alone and I know my mom didn’t mean it. She’s not sick of me. She’s sick of my mental illness.

But that’s part of me and I can’t help it. 

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