Eating disorder 7/22/16

I haven’t posted one of these in a long time. I haven’t been bad for a while.
Because I have been studying so much, I have not eaten in more than 24 hours except for a cup of coffee, to keep me awake.

Because coffee acts as a laxative (tmi), I feel empty. I feel so empty that I am having acid reflux, due to here not being any food to soak up the acid being produced in my stomach. I also have extra acid in my stomach due to worrying to much about my exams today.
All of this would make you think that I would eat as soon as I could. And I would. I would normally eat “normally.” Or I would binge eat. Today, my brain has suddenly switched into a mode of not wanting to eat. The empty feeling suddenly feels good. I don’t feel hungry, it just feels like stomach pains. I have no appetite. 

I honestly hate getting like this because it is hard for me to switch out of this mode. Last time I got like this, I didn’t eat for several days. I only stopped because it was getting bad, and it triggered vertigo for some reason.
I wish I could say I cared about it enough to eat. But I don’t. And I don’t have an appetite. It doesn’t matter. Everything is a mess and this just feels like just another component. It makes no difference. 

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