My ex girlfriend was supposed to come see me today. I was seriously considering giving them another chance. I’ve given her so many chances. I was literally talking about her today and how I want to give her a chance because I think she’s my soulmate.
But she never replied to my texts. Or my calls. Until her mom texted me asking where she was. And I didn’t know. And then she got a collect call from the county jail.
So her license is suspended. And I’m so fucking angry because she isn’t getting better and that makes me really sad. But on top of that now, we can’t see each other unless I drive to her.
I’m so upset and I genuinely wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.
I can’t help but feel responsible. I told her I was suicidal and wanted to admit myself to psychiatric inpatient. I feel like I stressed her out. I feel like this was in part, my fault.
Loving an addict is one of the hardest things you can do. It is so heartbreaking. You want to help. You invest every single bit of yourself trying to help and provide support. You can’t help it, you love them. It breaks your fucking heart wishing they would get better. It rips you apart wondering if they’re going to die.