Here it is –the low point in my life is back. I knew it had to come back soon but damn, it just hit me so suddenly. I was doing ok on Tuesday. By Wednesday I could see a noticeable change. Thursday I had the worst panic attack I’ve ever had and nearly fainted from hyperventilating. Today is Friday and I feel a heavy cloud looming over me.
I feel very lifeless. Like nothing matters. I have thoughts of how shitty of a person I am. I attribute it to how I don’t have many friends and it seems to make sense. It makes sense because who would ever want to be friends with such a shitty person.
The suicidal thoughts are back.
I finally found a therapist. It took me one month of trying to get squeezed into the schedule but I’m in.
Hopefully, I will feel better. Hopefully, I will be on medication again. Hopefully, I will be ok.