Something is wrong with me..

I had a really scary moment today. I think it was what you call a manic depressive moment.
I’m actually not sure what the correct terminology is.
But I can describe it.
I went over to my dad to ask him something and he didn’t respond to me. He was angry at my brother for breaking a plate earlier and when he’s mad at one person, he’s mat at everyone. I said, “papi” three times to him. He just looked at me and didn’t respond.
So I went into my mom’s room. My brother went to go talk to him and my dad responded to him! I felt so weird inside… Because he was mad at my brother and yet, he still responded to my brother. I hadn’t done anything to my dad but he did to respond to me.
My instincts told me and my irrational thinking quickly told me that my dad doesn’t love me. I broke down crying in my mom’s bedroom. I cried and cried and at the same time, I was sort of laughing because deep down, I know how absurd of a thought it was. I was crying and laughing at the same time. “I’m crazy,” I would think. And my brother and mom didn’t know what to do besides try to console me. “stop laughing at me!!” I yelled at them. “We aren’t laughing at you, Monica,” my mom responded.
I feel so fucking crazy. Something is wrong with me. I don’t know what it is.
I calmed down but was quickly talked to about my mental health by my mom. And we all know that she doesn’t quite seem to understand what goes on in my mind either so anything she said, I rolled my eyes to.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me.


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