My Grandmother’s Dementia

My grandma’s dementia has been getting so bad. It makes me really sad and frustrated. Sad because I hate seeing her like this and frustrated because it is sometimes frustrating how she reacts to things.
Sometimes she completely doesn’t know where she is, or she throws tantrums about meaningless things.
It makes me feel conflicted because I want to spend as much time as possible with her but I get angry and frustrated whenever I visit her.
I make sure to give her extra tight hugs whenever I visit her to make up for it. I breathe in the smell of her lotion so that maybe, I’ll never forget her. I’m afraid that I will. I’m afraid that my good memories of her will be tainted with bad memories of her. So I try to remember how her hands feel, how she smells, how she speaks, where she rests her hands on my back when she hugs me, so that I’ll at least be able to hold on to that when she passes.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s