Oh, fuck

So, j and I are still fighting. He’s still mad about yesterday and I’m mad that he reacted the way he did. We are both stubborn so I’m not sure how this will get resolved. Earlier today, I felt so heartbroken that we were fighting about something so stupid. I felt like *whispers* breaking up.
It was bad, huh?
I didn’t do it because I convinced myself to think about it for a couple of days to see how things play out. It is easy to remember all of the bad parts of your relationship and it is hard to remember the good parts. I guess the bad parts just didn’t happen as often and I felt so hurt about them that it made them seem memorable. I’m sure everyone is like this. However, I will be doing something and I will randomly remember a good memory that j and I share. Like going to the zoo, going out on walks, meeting, etc. I just had a memory of him telling me that even if I went to a college 5 hours away (one way), he would visit me as much as he could because he loves me. I’m pretty much crying as I wrote this
I hope we resolve this but I’m really annoyed with him still. I don’t know. I’m trying to stand up for myself because I refuse to be disrespected in any way. That was a big issue in my past relationships/flings and I won’t have it anymore. However, standing up for myself is dragging things out a lot more.
I just want to get this fixed.. I want him to apologize because I already apologized and I sure as hell am not going to do it again. Fuck that!

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