February 1st, 2014

I am not happy.

I am a sad, pathetic human being that can’t keep close relationship ships with people.
I told J last second that I couldn’t see him. It was because my grandma was sick and my family and I went to visit her. I sent him four text messages and in each one I said something about I hope you aren’t angry. He didn’t reply a single time.
I called him and he asked me why I assume he’s always angry when he doesn’t reply. I told him that what was I supposed to expect if he didn’t say anything. He said that maybe I could just expect that he was busy.
It was a really cold answer and I’m feeling really hurt. I feel clingy. I hate being in relationships. I hate feelings this way.
I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes and I can feel a lump in my throat. It isn’t fair.
I love him but he is so cruel sometimes.


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